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Sdfg-FGSD: CODE: 12.10.13SIXTY
NOTE TO READER: The prelude to this screenplay ("clapping for the wrong reasons") is available on the website youtube for free consumption. It may or may not give CONTEXT TO this work you're reading. 
SECOND NOTE TO READER: The visuals have no sound. They are meant to be played while the song is playing. ***LOL JK MUTE VIMEO AFTER FIRST VID..srry

You can't live your life on a bus...

EXT. CHURCH PARKING LOT - DAY
A white bus opens its door and a flood of children run off laughing and screaming. After the initial burst, three girls get off laughing. After them, A LITTLE BOY steps off. He's walking slow and somber.
All the parents in the parking lot are hugging and kissing their kids. Lots of kids are laughing. The Boy keeps walking until he reaches a black limousine parked at the far end.
2
A chauffeur (old heavyset white guy) stands holding the door open waiting for The Boy.
CHAUFFEUR
Ey! Look who it is.
He holds out his hand for a high-five. The kid jumps, hi-fives him, and slides into the limo.
The Boy's FATHER (Rick Ross) is sitting by the far door. The limo starts off.
The Boy and his father sit in silence for what feels like 8 hours.
FATHER
How was camp?
The Boy "shrugs".
FATHER (CONT'D)
You make any friends?
THe BOY
No.
The father laughs under his breath...but the laugh turns into a smh. 
FATHER
Elise made you something special tonight.
The BOY
Frito pie.
FATHER
I don't know. She didn't say-
The BOY
(cutting him off)
It's Frito pie.
Silence. Father stares at him, then looks out the window.
EXT. MANSION - DAY
The Chauffeur helps Father out the car. The Boy jumps out and walks toward the front of his home. The Mansion is dope. Very Big, and not gaudy. It looks classic.
3
INT. MANSION - DAY
An infinity pool lines the horizon in the backyard. A spiral staircase fades up the wall and into the master bedroom upstairs. You can see all of this from the foyer, which has a large Buddha statue in the center of it. The place is very clean. Someone seems to care or is paid to care.
The Father's phone rings:
FATHER
Hello.
PHONE VOICE
Hello, this is the Califax collection-
Father hangs up. His cell phone goes off.
The Boy walks into the kitchen. It's a big kitchen. There's a chef making food. He waves to The Boy. The Boy throws up a deuce. He gets a s'more Pop tart, then walks back out. 
INT. BOY'S ROOM - DAY
The Boy walks in and drops his backpack and jacket in the doorway. He kicks off his shoes. They fly across the room, hit the wall, and fall in a pile of shoes on the ground. We see there's a big black/brown stain on the wall where The Boy's been kicking shoes for years. Doesn't look like he ever wears the same shoe twice.
The Boy rips the bag of pop tarts open with his mouth as he sits at his desk and opens his laptop. There's a picture of a woman holding a child. She's wearing one of those fly tracksuits from 1995. The ones people wore a lot during the centennial Olympics.  
He starts checking his mail. His friend "FAM" sent him something that says "this is you" with a link. The Boy clicks the link and a video of a woman blowing a horse comes up. The Boy watches the video for longer than you should watch a horse blowing video. He closes the video.
He goes onto HOTNEWHIPHOP.COM. There's a new Rich Homie Quan song out. It's listed as "VERY HOTTTTTTT". The Boy looks in the comment section, reading what people are saying. 
"This nigga sound like a broke-ass Future! [CRYING EMOJI]" is the top comment. 
The Boy stares. Then types "fuck u niggers" in the comments. 

He waits. He takes a bite out of his pop tart.

4
He refreshes the page. People immediately respond with "Fuck U", "You wouldn't say that to my face faggot", and "LMFAO crackers b crazy"
The Boy smiles.
5
...bec a use the in t e  rnet
6
15 YEARS LATER
*******[PLAY SONG "CRAWL" AT THIS POINT]*******
INT. THE BOY'S ROOM - EARLY MORNING
The room is an elegant mess. There's shit everywhere, but everything has its place. Classic furniture; someone with old money would invest in, is used for the bed, desk, desk chair. You can see from where most of the trash accumulates that the occupant spends most of his time on the computer.
There is a pile of stacked and flattened gummy bear wrappers by the desk. There's a picture of The Boy and his father on the boy's desk, along with a flash drive that has "hackz" written on it. A small vaporizer charges and glows green on the edge. There's a half ounce of weed in a plastic bag to the left of the laptop on the desk.
7
There's a black and white Bill Withers poster, a Gorillaz "Demon Days" poster, and a "Black Dynamite" poster. All framed. Stacks of records are placed on a shelf lining the wall. There are some old 70's soul records by a record player on the shelf. Norman Connors "You Are My Starship" is the album on top of the others. 
Little hills of dirty clothes grow up the walls from the floor. Same pile of shoes is there. Wall with same dirty spot. The closet is filled with white shirts and flower shorts. There's one very old and tattered Shearling coat that hangs to the right.
The Boy (more a man now) is sprawled out on his bed, no shirt and flower shorts. He opens one eye as very faint, dark orange sunlight from the blinds cut his face. He gets up.
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
The Buddha statue again. There's empty old beer and Pellegrino bottles on the bar. The entire back of the living room wall is glass. The boy walks briskly to the kitchen. 
INT. KITCHEN - DAY
The kitchen is a slight mess. Things left out. S'mores makings left out. The marshmallows are hard as stones. The boy goes into the cabinet and pulls out a pop tart. He takes out a pop tart and throws it in the microwave, wrapper still on (you're not supposed to do that). He starts the microwave and begins texting someone. The microwave is okay for about 5 seconds, then blue sparks start to pop inside. He turns off the microwave, opens it, grabs the pop tart and tosses it on a plate. 
EXT. BACKYARD - EARLY MORNING
The Boy walks onto the little island in the middle of the infinity pool lining the oceans and mountains in the background. The mountains are surrounded by clouds. They're literally above the clouds. It's probably raining down there. There's an orchard with lemon and plums to the west of the wall outside, and a green statue of a golfer further in. Bunnies jump on the lawn in the background.
The boy sits under a sun umbrella, opens the pop tart and starts to eat it. He looks off with his face flat. He gets a text message:
FAM: when u wanna paddle out? [PURPLE DEVIL FACE EMOJI]
The Boy texts back: pick me up
CUT TO:
8
EXT. MANSION FRONT DRIVEWAY - MORNING
An old, red (a gross red. a weak red) Mazda rolls up to the front of the mansion and sputters to a stop. FAM, steps out of the car. Daps up.
FAM
Let's take one of yours.
THE BOY
Nah.
FAM
Really, mane? You want us to drive around in my car? I don't think it'll make it, honestly. It broke down at my mom's. Plus...it looks like my car.
THE BOY
Right. It's inconspicuous. 
FAM
My nigga, who are you hiding from? It's not stuttin. It's your car.
Why do you even care?

"...why do you even care?"

THE BOY
Aight. 
INT. GARAGE - MORNING
The garage door rises to reveal Fam and The Boy's silhouette. Five cars are in the garage. There's a Tesla Model S, Silver 911, some car no one's ever seen, a Tahoe and some car under a tarp. Looks like it could be an Aston Martin. Fam smiles.

FAM
(pointing to the car no one's ever seen)
That one-
THE BOY
No.

The BOY
The beamer.
9
We didn't even see this one. It's in the far corner of the garage. It's a nice car. Older, but nice and sleek. Understated, to some. Its black paint is chipping in the front. Fam shakes his head. 
FAM
Nah...nah.
They get in the 911.
CUT TO:

EXT. SANTA MONICA CONDOS - DAY
The 911 pulls up to a nice condo complex. Fam honks the horn for a while. Like a jerk.
SOMEONE FROM A WINDOW
I work nights, dickhead!
FAM
I know. Fuck me, right?
Fam honks more. 
The Boy checks his Twitter feed. Twitter name "You Are Unimportant - @thegoldmolar" You can see from his feed he just trolls all the time. Politicians, athletes, entertainers, etc. His favorite was simply re-tweeting something someone says. When it was dumb enough to just re-tweet, that was his favorite. He'd gotten a lot of followers that way. Written an article once for a blog. Got more followers. He started posting videos of homeless people and fights.
He was looking for something to retweet on his time-line. People say dumb shit all the time...
...someone tweeted "roscoe's wetsuit". 

"...what's that?"

The Boy drops "roscoe's wetsuit" into Google. A Yahoo answer comes up for it. The answer to "what is roscoe's wetsuit?" is..."roscoe's wetsuit". Hilarious.
SWANK, STEVE, MARCUS (Chance the Rapper), and AJ (STEFAN) walk out of the condo. They have longboards with them and they're eating candy. They stop in their tracks when they see the 911.
SWANK
(re: boards)
How we supposed to get these in there?
10
FAM
You guys take your car.
STEVE
What about your boards? Where are they?
FAM
Can we borrow some?
They all make a face.
SWANK
We need a bigger car then. I'ma drive to your house and get the Tahoe.
THE BOY
Come on, guys. This is taking forever. 
AJ
Where we going?
FAM
Dockweiler.
MARCUS
I swam into a diaper last time.
FAM
I'M GRIMEY. I ONLY SWIM IN DIRTY WATERS! YOU KNOW THIS!
SOMEONE AGAIN
Shut the fuck up!
Fam honks the horn.
SWANK
I'm drivin that Porsche the way back. I know that shit.
Swank and Steve walk toward their car parked on the street.
THE BOY
What's "roscoe's wetsuit" mean?
FAM
I don't know. 
They drive off.
EXT. DOCKWEILER BEACH - DAY
The guys carry the boards through the sand to ocean, making a strange pattern behind them. 
11
They setup camp and start changing on the beach.
MARCUS
I thought someone was bringing girls.
THE BOY
No one wants to get up this early.
MARCUS
Did you ask white girls?
THE BOY
I asked every girl.
FAM
You a lie. You didn't ask anybody. You don't leave the house.
STEVE
Why white girls?
MARCUS
Cause no one is getting up at 6AM to go into the freezing, dirty ass ocean, fuck up their hair-
At that moment, they all notice a girl sitting on her board in the ocean. Waiting for a wave she looks behind her. She is black.
MARCUS (CONT'D)
(to AJ)
See? This is what I mean about Donnie Darko happening to me. 
A plane flies low overhead (Dockweiler is right next to LAX). 
MARCUS (CONT'D)
(staring at the plane)
It's gonna crush me.
SWANK
(re: girl)
It's like seeing a mermaid.
STEVE
Maybe it's a manatee. 
MARCUS
(R. Kelly)
I'ma flirt. 
Marcus runs to the water with his board. They all follow.
12
EXT. OCEAN - MORNING
Marcus swims up to the girl on his board.
MARCUS
Sup.
GIRL
Hi.
MARCUS
I'm Marcus.
Sasha
Sasha.
MARCUS
It's lookin alright today.
SASHA
(Australian accent)
Yeah. It's the only reason I'm out here.
MARCUS
Oh, you're Australian.
(pause)
You ever seen "Kangaroo Jack"?
SASHA
(not looking at him)
Yeah.
MARCUS
Classic.
SASHA
...wha?
MARCUS
(not mean...just serious)
It's a fucking classic.
Silence. Sasha is weirded out. All the guys, except The Boy, swim up.
STEVE
(to Sasha. Out of breath)
Hi. Did Marcus ruin it already?
SASHA
Yes.
Steve splashes Marcus.
13
Swank takes a plastic bag with four blunts in it. He takes one out. He lights up a blunt. Talks with it hanging in his mouth.
SWANK
How long you been surfing?
SASHA
Ten years. You?
SWANK
Bouta month.
AJ
Cops don't come out here. It's a good place to smoke. You want some?
He passes it. She takes a hit. 
SWANK
What you doin tonight?
SASHA
My friend's birthday in Santa Monica.
MARCUS
Yo, we're right around close. We're having a party tonight in a mansion. You should come. And if your friend's a girl or a guy who has weed, they should come too.
AJ
I'm Djing. I start off with Jodeci, then the switch over to 90's rap using "Dream Lover" to transition, play ACTUAL ATLANTA TRAP for an hour, hour and a half. Then motown, soul, and house. Girls. Go. Crazy.
SASHA
What's your DJ name?
AJ
Twercules. no "DJ". Just Twercules. I got a tumblr where I post my mixes. It's getting pretty popular. I don't know. You sing? Model? Act?
SASHA
I'ma go in.
Sasha starts paddling and catches a wave into the beach.
AJ
I shouldn't have said "bitches".
14
MARCUS
(thinks)
...you didn't.
AJ thinks on this. This is probably saying more about him than he realizes.
EXT. BEACH - MORNING
Sasha carries her board onto the beach. The Boy is sitting there.
SASHA
You goin in?
THE BOY
Don't know yet.
SASHA
Then why'd you put on your wetsuit?

...roscoe's wetsuit. 


THE BOY
Everyone else was.
SASHA
That's an awful reason.
She starts walking.
THE BOY
You should come to the party. It'll be fun.
(then)
They invited you, right?
SASHA
Where is it?
THE BOY
[EDIT]. Text me [EDIT].
SASHA
I'll remember. I'll bring some friends.
She walks off.
Later that day:

15
*******[PLAY SONG "WORLDSTAR" AT THIS POINT]*******
EXT. I-10 - EVENING
The guys drive down the highway eating In-N-Out. Head nods all around. Swank is now driving the Porsche. Crazily. Fam is with The Boy and the rest of the guys in the other car. Marcus drops his animal style fries on the floor.
MARCUS
Fuck.
FAM
You see you fuckin up this car?
THE BOY
It's fine.
FAM
He's driving crazy.
(iphone goes off)
And he's textin me.
The text says: R E C K L E S S
FAM (CONT'D)
This nigga's so lame.
The Boy sees a tweet of the lead singer of a boy band tweet "follow your heart and [HEART EMOJI] all who cross your path!". The Boy retweets it with a [LAUGHING/CRYING EMOJI].
FAM (CONT'D)
I gotta stop somewhere first.
CUT TO:
16
EXT. CLUB - NIGHT
Fam pulls outside of a club. Lots of people are trying to get in. He and The Boy get out and walk to the bouncer, their friend CHEESE. Fam and Cheese dap. The Boy stands on the side next to a line of people trying get in VIP. They look at each other. He is not dressed appropriately to get in.
Fam and Cheese do that handshake thing they do. Fam walks in.
Some guys in a black SUV rolls by and yell at the dude next to The Boy.
MAN IN CAR
Dont let me catch you out here Jay! Don't let me catch you!
The Boy watches this for a second. He looks down for a moment...
Someone has spray painted "roscoe's wetsuit" on the sidewalk. He stares at it.
MAN IN CAR (CONT'D)
I got yours, muthafucka!
The Boy snaps out of it. Then takes out his phone and starts recording the fight. Fam walks out and sees the fight in action.
17
JAY (I GUESS?)
You scared, bitch! That's why you scared!
MAN IN CAR
I got something for yo hoe-ass my nigga!
POP. POP.

..what's happening?

Jay is bleeding from his stomach. The Boy is seeing this through his phone. It takes a moment for him to realize-
POP. POP.
...run. now.
Fam is already running. Everyone in the line is screaming and running. The Boy runs.
COP
Drop your weapon!
(these are cleaner and succinct) POP.POP.POP. 
Runs to the side of the building. The SUV that was firing slows down. The driver is dead. Car horn blares as the car slows to a stop, mixing with girls crying and "oh shit!" and "fuck". Jay is very close to dead. The blood on the sidewalk is almost black. A street sign (No parking between 7-9am and 4-7pm) is reflected in the dark blood. He turns to The Boy, looks around. He knows what's happening. He's leaving. 
That was the end. He'll never read this sentence. Or any sentence. He ended earlier. Before this sentence. As far as he knows, before any sentence. He's back to his/the natural state.
The Boy felt something. 
It's funny, cause this dude is dead. There really isn't a connection...it's more him seeing himself for the first time since-

SOME NIGGA
Damnnnnn.....!
HIS FRIEND
WORLDSTAR!
The Boy's phone rings:
18
THE BOY
Yeah.
FAM
Get in the car.
The Boy turns and sees the car rolling up to the alley he's hiding in. The Boy runs up and jumps in. They speed off.
INT. CAR - NIGHT
FAM
That shit was NUTS!
STEVE
I knew something was about to happen. I knew it.
MARCUS
Donnie Darko. I'm tellin you.
The Boy is looking at the footage on his phone. He's got a death on video. It's looped. Over and over. 
The Boy touches his shearling coat...there's a hole in it. Bullet hole? He puts his finger through...

...i shouldn't be (here).

He looks at Fam and Steve. They're talking.
MARCUS (CONT'D)
Bitches high heels everywhere! They ran out they shoes, cuh.
FAM
BAP! BAP! BAP! Oooow. That nigga lit up.

The Boy just keeps watching the video.
FAM
Yo. You got it on video?
THE BOY
Yeah.
19
FAM
Wow...you caught the end of his journey on video. That's dope.
(then)
We gotta pic up Doc from the jazz club.
INT. JAZZ CLUB - NIGHT
Fam and The Boy Stand in the back. Doc is on stage playing saxophone with a band. He's doing a solo.
THE BOY
Does it weird you out that you almost died today?
FAM
Not really. I'm not trippin on death.
THE BOY
I'm not trippin. I'm just sayin, if you think about it, there's no reason for us to be here.
FAM
Doc be hanging with the weirdest people. Look at these niggas. They all look like James Blake. Is that who likes Jazz now?
THE BOY
I was thinking about it and I can't offer anyone anything. Like, my job is tweeting at people. That's my job.
FAM
That's not your job. You do it cause it's funny. You're rich. We don't have to do anything.
THE BOY
Yeah. Isn't that sad?
FAM
Sad? We are making moves. What about that line me and Swank are gonna start selling? 
THE BOY
All we did was print shirts for ourselves. Who else is buying that shit? And the whole reason we wanted to make shirts is cause Tre made some and they were dope.
FAM
I don't know what to tell you. We are doing dope shit. We are making moves. We can do whatever we want-
20
THE BOY
But none of it matters cause we're doing it for ourselves! We're just jerking off for each other. No one in the future's gonna give a shit I made a shirt once.
FAM
Then don't make a shirt, my nigga.
JAMES BLAKEY LOOKING DUDE
Shhh!
The Boy fiddles with the hole in his jacket.
INT. MANSION - NIGHT
All the guys walk in with plastic bags from the grocery store. They have blue cups, alcohol, s'more fixings, and gummy bears.
If I was the director, I'd have everyone walk in in slow motion into the house with "Nosetalgia" by Pusha T playing.
Walking into bedrooms. Opening drawers. Pulling out bags of weed. 
CUT TO:
AJ walks into his large closet. Pulls out a bowl. There are some prescription bottles there too.
CUT TO:
A naked Marcus steps out of the shower and goes in his closet and pulls out some condoms.
CUT TO:
Fam is meditating in the center of his bed. He's floating off the bed by about 4 inches. 
CUT TO:
21
The Boy lies, arms to his side, on his bed, looking at the ceiling. 
Spiders slowly drop from single strands of web from all the posts on the bed. It looks pretty. All of them dropping simultaneously swaying together. They whisper:

......where are you?
................who is this?
...don't slide.

It's almost a song.
22
*******[PLAY SONG "THE WORST GUYS" AT THIS POINT]*******
INT. MANSION - NIGHT
More people are at the house. People drinking and smoking. Shoes off. It's a Temple. Respect it.
The back wall of the living room has been pushed into the wall, so there's a seamless transiting from living room to backyard patio.
People sit on the swings underneath space heaters. 
EMILY is in the middle of the pool table. Swank plays pool around her. RUBEN is filming Marcus and Steve throwing things in the fire pit.
AJ is djing in the middle of the living room.
Some guy is running through the living room in just a towel. He is dripping water. He almost slips.
The projector room (theatre) is playing Fight/Vine compilations. Two dudes are in there not watching. Just smoking.
The Boy walks through the backyard. There's a dude and a girl making out on the bar outside. They're sitting on the bar.
THE BOY
Don't sit on that.
They look at him. He stares back. They get down. He walks away. They stare as he leaves. The Boy walks to the edge of the pool and looks at the ocean go into the sky.
THIS KID IN A HAT
(laughing/whisper)
Hurry!
This kid in a hat and his friend are running out the front door with an iPad and a midi controller. The Boy walks inside. Marcus stops him. He's out of breath and looks wet.

THE BOY
Some guys just stole some stuff.
23
MARCUS
Please tell me you saw that Argentinan...Argentinian? Argentina-girl. I can't say it-
THE BOY
Stop inviting random niggas in here. If you don't know their names they can't come.
MARCUS
I don't hear you right now. I just fucked in a steam shower and I feel CRAZY. It's like I came in a Prince video. I like, blacked out. Couldn't breath in there, mane. I- 
(wait)
Fuck! Is she still in there? You think she's okay?
He thinks.
THE BOY
You're the Florida of my friends.
The Boy walks away.
INT. FATHER'S ROOM - NIGHT
The Boy walks up to the door. Before he can open it, Sasha opens it from the inside. She's with another girl. It feels like they just did a drug or were stealing something themselves.
Sasha sees The Boy. Startled. Then she smirks.
SASHA
Come in! Quick!
24
She pulls him in. The other girl flops on the bed.
Other GIRL
UUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH. SOOOOO SOOOOOFFFFTTT.
SASHA
Hurry, hurry, hurry. Scoot, scoot.
The Boy lays against the wall. Sasha sits on the bed. 
Silence. Then:
SASHA (CONT'D)
Show us your dick.
THE BOY
Wha?
SASHA
Do it. Show it.
OTHER GIRL
Ew.
Silence.
25
THE BOY
Ha.
Silence.
THE BOY (CONT'D)
Why?
SASHA
Cause it's probably gross and I wanna laugh at it.
OTHER GIRL
I've never seen a black dick. Is it purple?
SASHA
Grape dick.
OTHER GIRL
(agreeing)
Grape dick.
Sasha gets up and starts to punch The Boy playfully. The other girl is laughing crazy.
SASHA
Do it. Don't be weird!
OTHER GIRL
Let's be weird a little!
The punches slowly stop. Then Sasha starts kissing The Boy. You can't see below their waist, but stuff is going on. Then stuff stops.
SASHA
What's wrong? This is weird?
THE BOY
No.
SASHA
You don't want to? This is weird?
THE BOY
No. I want to.
SASHA
Then...what's going on, chum?
THE BOY
Hold on.
The Boy plays with his dick. Nothing. It's like gum.
26
Silence. Fidgeting. Sasha's got a [ASHAMED EMOJI] look on her face. 
THE BOY (CONT'D)
Hold on.
He walks into the bathroom and closes the door. Locked. Silence. Sasha sits on the floor.
OTHER GIRL
What's up?

*******[PLAY SONG "SHADOWS" AT THIS POINT]*******

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT
The Boy sits on the floor. Head in hands. 

Damn, guy.  

The Boy's ex-girlfriend steps out of the linen closet.
27
VANESSA
What are you doing?
THE BOY
(head in hands)
Chillin.
VANESSA
In the Bathroom?
THE BOY
Mmm-hmm.
VANESSA
Well, I want to go out.
THE BOY
("no")
Mmm-mmm.
Vanessa playfully throws things from the counter at him (toothbrush, cup, floss, soap). He throws some of it back. She starts laughing. He pulls her to the ground with him.
VANESSA
Why are you so moody?
28
THE BOY
I'm not. Let me enjoy this for a second.
VANESSA
We can do this outside, [EDIT]
THE BOY
We could live the rest of our lives here. There's a TV in the mirror. There's fresh water every time we flush. I heard they're building a sandwich place in the shower. 
Vanessa smh and smiles.
VANESSA
Get up. We're going.
THE BOY
Come 'on-
VANESSA
I mean it!
She pulls him up. She opens up the linen closet and pulls The Boy in.
Coachella is inside the closet. 
There are people saying things, giving opinions, feeling interesting. Everyone has a purpose today. It's a great time. 
The Boy chases after Vanessa and catches her. He carries her for like three steps, then they walk together, holding hands.
VANESSA (CONT'D)
We have to see everything together. I don't wanna split up this time. We each get to choose one band the other one can't make you see-
(then)
What's wrong?
THE BOY
(smh)
...
VANESSA
(disappointed)
Really?...You're really doing this to me? Right now?
THE BOY
You don't think this is a waste of our time? 
29
VANESSA
No, I don't think me and you together is a waste of time. That's what you think. And I'm tired of trying to convince you otherwise. At least be a man and break up with me instead of telling me I don't like you.
THE BOY
But you don't! You don't really like me. I just look good when you scroll past me with the rest of your "I'm almost Vashtie" bullshit.
[NO MOUTH EMOJI]
VANESSA
(teary whisper)
You're so mean.
THE BOY
I'm trying to be honest.
VANESSA
Mean doesn't mean honest! Honest can mean mean. But only if you mean it.
THE BOY
(so many "means")
Wait...the-
VANESSA
I'm trying so hard with you. But I'm not gonna carry us. I won't waste your time anymore.
She starts walking away. Then she looks to the sky and shoots up like a rocket. She looks like a shooting star in the sky. Not a sound is heard while this happens. They never see each other again.
Then the coyotes come out. 
They're glowing blue. They're circling and they're talking about music.
WOLF 1
What'd you think of 2 Chainz' set?
WOLF 2
It was really fun. His live shows have gotten way better. I saw him last spring in Chicago.
WOLF WITH GLASSES
Have you heard that Roc Marciano album on vinyl? It's so good, man. 
30
MESSY, BUT COOL WOLF
You guys, this is my fiance, another wolf. He or she works in a small music or graphic design for niche clothing or this app I'm building.
They rip The Boy to shreds while they talk. Blood everywhere. The Boy doesn't make a sound. Lets it happen.
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT
The Boy realizes he is pacing in the shower. He's been in there for a minute, cause the water is cold.
He opens the door. The girls are gone. The small clock on the desk says "5:23 AM". There's also a note written in lipstick on the mirror that says "YOUR FUCKED" (smh at the "your"). Probably Sasha. She's probably right.
CUT TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
The house isn't totalled, just dirty. Empty cups, bottles, cigarette butts, etc. The Boy sees Steve and Swank passed out on the couch.
THE BOY
Let's go guys.
STEVE
(waking up)
Where we going?
THE BOY
Oakland.
SWANK
When's the flight leave?
THE BOY
We're driving.
SWANK
Wha?
(then)
How'd we get poor?
INT. FAM'S ROOM - NIGHT
Fam's sleeping. There's a naked girl sleeping with him. The Boy comes in.
31
THE BOY
We're going.
The Boy leaves. Fam opens his eyes. 
CUT TO:
EXT. MANSION - NIGHT
Swank, Steve, and Fam are asleep in the car. The Boy sits down in the driver's seat. He pulls out his phone and texts someone named NYALA:
im driving up now
...(that moment you know exactly what they're typing and how they look doing it)
She writes back:
DONT
The Boy looks at this. Then starts up the car and turns on the radio and speeds out of the driveway.
A moment passes...
Then we see the girl that was in bed with Fam walk out in the Mansion doorway. 
THAT GIRL FAM KNOWS FROM THAT ONE PLACE
Fam?
32
EXT. I-5 - NIGHT/EARLY MORNING
Everyone's asleep in the car except The Boy who's driving (AJ is there too. They picked him up.). Lloyd's "Oakland" is playing on the radio. The Boy turns it up so he feels like he's in a video. He pushes his seat back so he can lean.
SWANK
Ow, ow!
He slammed Swanks knees. Sorry.
The Boy speeds through the empty highway. It's really pretty. I'm not sure what those factories are in the middle of nowhere with all the lights on them. They're probably horrible for the earth, but they look really magical at night. He passes one of those factories.
There's a lot of rolling hills. Lotta farms. There's a slaughterhouse. Smells and looks grey and awful. All the cows look really sad. Maybe I'm just making them sad. Maybe they're fine.
Looking at the rows of crops criss-cross on farms as they pass.  
There's a billboard. It says: ROSCOE'S WETSUIT
33
The Boy stares at it. Just a white billboard with "roscoe's wetsuit" on it.
EXT. MIDDLE OF NOWHERE IN-N-OUT - DAY
The guys are sitting on their car, eating burgers at the far end of the parking lot.
As The Boy bites into his double-double he thinks about the slaughterhouse. Then he looks at his burger. He laughs.
Two women walk out. They look like they're in their late 30s. Swank spots em. One of the women is wearing a Northwestern hoodie.
SWANK
(re: hoodie)
Long way from Chicago.
WOMAN 1
Alumni.
SWANK
There's no way. You can't be over twenty-three.
The women just smirk and close their doors. They drive off.
SWANK (CONT'D)
See that? Johnny Appleseed of confidence, man. Just leaving little seeds with everyone. 
A car crazily pulls up next to the In-N-Out. Two dudes jump out with masks and guns. 
FAM
Daaammmmnnn.
They run inside. We see people running in their cars, and driving off. All of our guys stay seated on their car. Just eating.
A minute goes by. No gun shots. Just yelling. 
The two dudes run out. Just as they do, you can hear the police coming.
ROBBERY DUDE 1
MOVE, RYAN!
AJ
This nigga's using his real name. Treated.
STEVE
Could be a code name.
34
AJ
That's definitely his real name. No one's robbery name is "Ryan". It's something like..."Snake-Man".
They all make a face.
AJ (CONT'D)
Fuck ya'll. I wouldn't rob a place with ya'll pussy ass anyway.
The Police roll up. Ryan tries to get away, but they pin him. The other dude shoots at the cop.
FAm
We should leave. They're shooting at the cops. Which means the other cops coming give a fuck 'bout bystanders now. 
MARCUS
(in anchorman voice)
Two men were arrested in an attempted robbery at an In-N-Out burger today.
(mumbling)
Also some niggers ended up dead, we don't know. This is news, people!
STEVE
After being frisked, the dead suspects somehow got guns and shot themselves in the head even though they were handcuffed and in the back of a tiny-ass squad car.
THE BOY
Police chief states: "no investigation needed".
STEVE
"White people still safe!"
They laugh. As they start to drive off. 
Suddenly two cop cars screech in front of them. 
COP 1
HANDS IN THE AIR!
STEVE
Fuck.
All of the guys put their hands up.
CUT TO:
35
EXT. OAKLAND STREET - DAY
Everyone looks a little bummed. Silence. More silence.
THE BOY
We're here.
They pull over to a row of brownstones.
MARCUS
Great. Why are we where is this?
The Boy gets out of the car and walks up to the door. As he's about to knock, the door opens. Nyla is standing there. Her face is a mix of anger and strange sympathy. Like she refused to cry like...an hour ago?
THE BOY
Hey-
NYLA
There's a point you reach when you're no longer able to feel like you did. Not about a person, not with a certain place, you just can't feel like you did because that muscle or whatever is just...dead. Or gone. 
THE BOY
Hi, Nyla.
NYLA
When you're alone, you might be able to remember it. You might even hear a song that makes you question it. But you don't have it. It doesn't exist anymore. It's dead. Do you understand?
THE BOY
Yes. Absolutely. But Nyla-
NYLA
I AM AT THAT POINT, [EDIT].
Tears. She's not crying. She's just that mad.
A dude pokes his head out from the hallway in the brownstone. The Boy and him make eye contact.
THE BOY
This isn't what you think it is. I didn't come here to...look, I saw this dude die and-
NYLA
And you're scared. So you came here.
36
THE BOY
I'm not scared. I just wanna be with someone who knows me for a little.
NYLA
I don't know you. We're not together. I have company. Go home.
THE BOY
Okay, you're being mean now.
NYLA
"Mean?" Who cares? You're an adult.
Also, you embarrassed me. 
THE BOY
(to the dude in the hallway)
We were planning on having a kid together. She offered and we had a whole plan. Like adults or something. Then I backed out.  So...
(then)
You're second at best is what I'm saying.
The guy goes -__- [SIDE EYE EMOJI].
NYLA
What is wrong with you?
THE BOY
I don't know.
NYLA
Me neither.
This is really sad for both of em. They really wanna know. Nyla closes the door.
NYLA (CONT'D)
(through the door)
Please grow up.
The Boy stands there...then Swank walks up to him on the stoop of the brownstone.
SWANK
Can I use her bathroom? That double-double's makin moves.

The Boy walks away and gets in the car. Swank stands there for a moment. Then tries to cut off a fart with his hand as he walks to the car.
CUT TO:

37
*******[PLAY SONG "SWEATPANTS AVE." AT THIS POINT]*******

INT. OAKLAND CLUB - NIGHT
The guys sit at a table in the corner. The Boy is sitting in the corner. Fam is texting. Swank and Steve are talking to two girls. A promoter walks over.
PROMOTER
Ey. You gonna just sit here.
THE BOY
Yeah.
PROMOTER
Well, you gotta order something.
THE BOY
A bottle?
PROMOTER
Yeah. A bottle.
They stare.
THE BOY
I'll take 12 bottles.
Promoter gives him a [NO MOUTH EMOJI]. The Boy just stares at him...he's serious. The promoter walks off.
CUT TO:
Twelve girls with bottles and sparklers emerge around the club from the back. It's a parade. They curve around the club making a big to do. People are staring, like "is Diddy here? OMG Diddy's here!".
The parade gets to the top of the stairs where the booth is. But when they turn the corner, the guys are gone already. There's a stack of cash sitting in the middle of the table.
The promoter stands there. 
38
INT. DINER - LATE NIGHT
The guys are eating.
SWANK
But animals eat animals, man. Animals!
STEVE
The argument is that we've been given the freewill and understanding of life. So we shouldn't because the option is there for us.
SWANK
Man, in Nigeria they made me AND my little brother slaughter a goat. We raised that goat, man. I loved that fucking goat. And one day we came home from school and they just handed us the knife. I've seen the blood man. I've heard the screams. I still ate the shit though. 


...I was here before.


39
THE BOY
We were here before.
FAM
What?
THE BOY
We've done this before.  
FAM
Nah man. This is our first time together in Oakland.
THE BOY
This is every night. This is all the nights, man.
FAM
(weirded out)
Nahhhh. We switch it up, man.
The Boy stops listening. Across the way there's a group of kids eating in a booth. They're laughing and talking behind the back of a friend they don't seem to like very much. One of the girls is going in. But behind her, there's a guy in a colorful faux 90's hat. He's writing something on the wall in sharpie. 
He's writing "roscoe's wetsuit".  
The Boy gets up and walks over.
THE BOY
Excuse me. What does that mean?
HAT KID
What?
THE BOY
Roscoe's wetsuit.
HAT KID
Oh. I don't know.
THE BOY
Yes you do.
HAT KID
Wha?
THE BOY
You know what it means. Tell me.
HAT KID
I don't know. I saw it online. 
40
THE BOY
So you just write shit you see?
HAT KID
Fuck's your problem?
Fam walks up. Grabs The Boy.
FAM
Ey. Let's just eat.
The Boy and Fam sit.
HAT KID
It means I sat on your mom's face.
The Boy SLAMS his fist on the table. It's loud. Everyone in the diner looks at him. The Boy doesn't look up.
THE BOY
(quiet)
Tell me what it is or I'll cut you open and take the answer.
Silence.
CUT TO:
EXT. HOTEL - NIGHT
The guys roll up to the front of the hotel. 
SWANK
That kid was scared as fuck! He was like [OPEN MOUTH EMOJI].
FAM
(to The Boy)
You good?
Boy doesn't say anything.
41
INT. HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT
The guys walk in the lobby. There's an Indian wedding happening. They're probably not called Indian weddings. It's probably just a wedding, but all the people participating happen to be Indian. There's a bunch of guys talking and quietly laughing in the hall. The door to the banquet room is open as they pass. The Boy stops. The bride and groom are slow dancing. The Bride is quite pretty. Green eyes and dark skin. She's got the aura of a business woman. Probably met him at Stanford and was like "this is reliable". The groom looks like a caricature of a good ol' fashion white dude.
STEVE
Good for him.
SWANK
Nah. He don't get any interracial points. He's just doing what white guys been doing since forever. Exactly what he wants.
AJ
Really? Like that?
SWANK
Man, I used to get so pissed when girls would watch Boy Meets World and be like "Ryder Strong's so dope for having a black girlfriend". Man, fuck that nigga.
AJ
Come on, man. My dad's white and his parents didn't like my mom. They just started talking again.
SWANK
(over the top)
Oh you're poor white dad!  
(then)
Nigga, shut up. Take that team light skin shit outside.
THE BOY
I've never seen one of these.
FAM
A first dance?
THE BOY
A wedding.
FAM
Yeah.
(then)
Marriage is so wack. I mean, I get it. But come on, yo. Forever?
("Ms. Jackson")
Forever, ever? Forever, ever?
42
THE BOY
You think either of them don't wanna do it?
FAM
Mane, I bet both of em are like that.
THE BOY
They look happy as fuck though.
FAM
Cause they reached their goal. In a year they'll be like "oh fuck...goals are dumb."
MARCUS
Goals are dumb?
FAM
Making your life a goal is dumb. I think. This shit is supposed to be just fun.
(then)
I took an edible at the diner. It's kickin in. Hard. I'ma go upstairs.
THE BOY
Okay.
They both stand there for a moment. 
FAM
I'm gonna need some help.
AJ takes Fam by the arm.
FAM (CONT'D)
There we go.
They head to the elevators.  
MARCUS
I'ma look for some bridesmaids.
He walks off. 
STEVE
(yelling to Marcus)
Gee-van-chi!
MARCUS
(calling back)
Nigga, god bless you.
43
STEVE
(to The Boy)
What you doin?
The Boy stares at the couple.
THE BOY
I'ma stay down here.
SWANK
You good?
THE BOY
I'm great.
They Kanye shrug, then walk off to the bar. The Boy walks into the banquet.
INT. BANQUET HALL - NIGHT
The lights are low. Most of the people have gotten up to pee or something. The Boy just stares at the couple. Then he decides to start recording. A man comes up to him.
OLDER INDIAN DUDE
Who are you here with?
THE BOY
(not looking up from his phone)
The groom. We went to college together.
OLDER INDIAN DUDE
Oh.  
(then)
Nice isn't it?
THE BOY
(sincere)
Beautiful. 
OLDER INDIAN DUDE
When the buddies start getting married, that means you're next.
THE BOY
I don't think so.
OLDER INDIAN DUDE
That's what everyone says. That's what I said thirty years ago.
THE BOY
I don't believe in marriage.
44
(then)
Maybe that's not true. But I am against it.
OLDER INDIAN DUDE
What do you believe in?
THE BOY
Cool baby mamas. 
OLDER INDIAN DUDE
Ahhhhh. But how many women you know are interested in your concept?
THE BOY
More than you'd think. I find if you have a job and are actually interested in raising a child, women, who are a little older, tend to be responsive. I just don't think they like being labeled that.
(then)
Do you get tired of it?
OLDER INDIAN DUDE
Of marriage?
THE BOY
Of marriage. Of her. Of yourself.
He thinks.
OLDER INDIAN DUDE
Yes. Sometimes.
THE BOY
Then why?
OLDER INDIAN DUDE
I had to man-up. It was time. I don't regret it.
THE BOY
Well I don't have to man-up. I did what I'm supposed to do. I found the things I'm good at. I didn't get anyone pregnant on the way there. And I've had mature relationships that prepared me for what marriage is.
OLDER INDIAN DUDE
Mature relationships?
THE BOY
Yeah. I keep in touch with all my exes. We're all friends.
OLDER INDIAN DUDE
You still call them.
THE BOY
I send em a happy birthday text or DM 'em.
45
OLDER INDIAN DUDE
That's not a friend. I do that with my boss. And I hate my boss.
(to himself)
Fuckin Korean kid thinks he know everything.
Silence.
OLDER INDIAN DUDE (CONT'D)
What do you do?
THE BOY
I troll celebrities, politicians, or anyone with large enough online cache until I get a response. I post those responses and/or convos on my blog. And I charge gossip blogs and advertisers to advertise on my site and sometimes me and my friend put out novelty books of fucked up things we find online while digging up dirt on said celebrities and/ or politicians and sell it to niche book stores or larger stores that fit our aesthetic. 
The man just stares, not understanding.
THE BOY (CONT'D)
How old are you?
OLDER INDIAN DUDE
Fifty-three.
THE BOY
I'm like Bill O'Reilly.
OLDER INDIAN DUDE
Oh.
The older man leaves. A shlubby man in a suit comes to the podium in front. People clap for the end of the dance.
MAN IN SUIT
I've known Safia and Greg since college and I honestly knew this day would happen since we were getting high in my dorm room junior year at GW.
(to mom)
Sorry Mrs. Healey, Greg smokes weed. You gotta deal!
Everyone laughs.
MAN IN SUIT (CONT'D)
But honestly, may you two spend the rest of your lives healthy and happy.
"Awwww"
46
MAN IN SUIT (CONT'D)
And now, the traditional "march to forever" to bless the bride and groom with happiness for all their days to come.
Everyone claps.

*******[PLAY SONG "3005" AT THIS POINT]*******

Little creatures slowly start to march out from the kitchen. Some have banners that say "HAPPY MARRIAGE!". Some have sparklers. They all bounce on beat. It's cute for a very short moment. Then it feels wrong.  
All the creatures have two legs, two arms, like humans.  But they are definitely not humans. One of the giveaways being that they are naked, but don't seem to have genitals.  
47
All the creatures are breathing heavy out their mouths (their noses being two tiny slits probably don't allow for heavy air traffic).
They're about three feet high. Their eyes are larger than they should be and are spread farther on their faces. They don't have hair anywhere on their bodies. They all have forced smiles on their faces. You can see their teeth are just a little too sharp when they smile. Insinuating carnivorous behavior. If they wanted to, at any point they could jump on you and rip out your throat in .8 seconds. But they're not right now. They're marching.
One of the creatures has tears in its eyes. Still smiling tho. Pushing the smile.
Everyone is smiling as they march past, but they're all very cautious. Clearly worried that one may attack. The Boy watches as the creatures reach the front of the party and form a circle. They do this weird clapping, almost step team routine, then stop. The music stops.
CREATURE 1
We did it!
CREATURE 2
Yay!
Everyone claps. The bride and groom force a smile. The creatures slowly make their way back to the kitchen. All that's heard is their struggled breathing and clammy skin hitting the wooden dance floor. One stares at The Boy as he (or she) leaves.

...that was unacceptable. [LEMONGRAB: UNNACCEPTABLE!]
*******[PLAY SECRET TRACK 9 1/2 [CODED] NOW]*******
type="audio/mpeg">Your browser does not support the audio element.
(do not read on while "Secret track" plays. Wait until it is finished, then continue reading)
CUT TO:

48
*******[PLAY "PLAYING AROUND BEFORE THE PARTY STARTS" NOW]*******
INT. MANSION - NIGHT
The Boy sits at his piano; playing randomly, trying to make sense of everything/anything. Steve and Swank talk to Emily and MISLA in the kitchen. They're arguing about driving, or cooking with coconut oil instead of olive oil, or something else they themselves will not care about or remember in a month, year, ten years, 100 years, the age of the universe. 
The house is starting to look pretty bad. The cleaners that used to come stopped receiving their payment and stopped coming. Plastic cups are starting to spread like a blue rash across the living room and coffee tables. Every surface has a sticky spot. You used to be able to slide into the kitchen from the living room with a two second run and quick stop. Now, dried alcohol stops you before you even get to the kitchen door. The Boy really loved sliding into the kitchen when he was a kid. It was the closest you could get to having powers. 

49
*******[PLAY SONG "THE PARTY" AT THIS POINT]*******

Minutes go by. People start to crowd around The Boy as he continues on piano. So many people he can't think.
Fam daps up a kid as he walks in. They then walk over to a closet where Fam opens up a pantry of weed. It's not nostalgic rap video stocked with weed, but there's a lot of weed in there. Fam tosses an ounce of weed at the kid. The kid and his friend smell it and nod. They look to Fam to share a smile of like "good shit, right?", but Fam isn't there for em. Fam gives em the "where's my money you privileged ass-hole" look. They pull out some hundreds. 
Misla is sitting knees to chest with a french dude in the center of the pool table. They're eating s'mores.
Emily and Steve are jumping over the fire pit like idiots. 
50
There are people saying things, giving opinions, feeling interesting. Everyone has a purpose tonight. It's a great time.
But then:
...this is a waste.
THE BOY
Get.
...of time.
THE BOY (CONT'D)
Out. Everyone.
No one can hear him. It's a party.
THE BOY (CONT'D)
Everyone needs to get out. NOW!
People start to notice. The Boy gets up from the piano and grabs a pool stick. He quickly walks over to the ipod dock playing music and winds up like it's a bat.
SMASH.
Everyone stares.
FUCKBOY 2
That's my phone, nigga!
The Boy looks up. There's a deep inhale, then he starts smashing everything. Glass sprays everywhere, alcohol splashes, people start running out. 
SOME DUDE 2 
Worldstar!
The Boy continues hitting things. He's about to come down on somoeone's phone that's lying on the coffee table. He holds the pool cue above his head and lets it down fast.
But right before, someone grabs the cell phone, laying their hand on top of it, daring The Boy to hit the hand. The Boy barely stops in time. 
The hand has a cast on it. The Boy looks up to see a girl (NAOMI) staring at him. She looks mad. The Boy is mad. But not at her. He's trying to look mad at her, but he really looks like "sorry".  
Eyes locked.
51
She slowly takes her phone, making complete eye contact the entire time, then walks out. Everyone stares at this strange interaction.
As soon as she leaves, The Boy goes back to smashing things.  
THE BOY
Get out! Get away!
Some people start running out trying not to get hit. Other people just laugh cause they're high or because they think it's pathetic. They all leave eventually.
The Boy stands there for a moment. He turns to the bar next to the pool table. There's half a blunt and a bottle of Sriracha sitting there. The Boy takes the bottle and starts squirting it on the pool table.
When he's done, he's written: "ROSCOE'S WETSUIT".
FAM
Nice.
The Boy turns. Fam's just sitting there. No one even noticed him. Fam gives him a SMH. The Boy leaves.
CUT TO:

*******[PLAY SONG "NO EXIT" AT THIS POINT]*******
INT. THE BOY'S ROOM - LATER NIGHT
The Boy lays in his bed. Blue and black stripes from the shades fold over his face. He can hear raccoons scurrying outside.
He sees a spider in the corner of the room. Just sitting in its web.
The Boy doesn't particularly like or dislike spiders. They're everywhere in the house. It's a big house and it's right next to a reserve. But something about this spider sitting there...it really bothers him. It makes him mad. He can hear the spider. Just sitting there. Getting louder.
I'm going to describe it as emotional tinnitus: when everything is silent and quiet, you can see the empty web you're in. It is annoying. Which is the slowest form of torture.
52
...The Boy gets up.
CUT TO:
INT. CAR - NIGHT
The Boy drives. I'm not sure where he's driving. He's not sure where he's driving. 
He drives about an hour out into some industrial wasteland-looking nook of Los Angeles.
He parks his car.
Then, barefoot, he sits on the roof of his car and watches the cars pass. Bright lights grow to an explosion then fade out as they pass. He goes into his pocket and holds the "hackz" flash drive that we saw on his desk at the beginning.
Someone spray painted "ROSCOE'S WETSUIT" on the side of the bridge. The Boy is not surprised. It's not making more sense, but it's becoming more dependable, which is always nice.
The Boy realizes he hasn't eaten all day. Maybe that's what's wrong.
CUT TO:
53
EXT. FATBURGER - NIGHT
The Boy orders a burger in the drive thru.  
A skinny Latino kid with a Bluetooth hands him the bag. The Boy pulls over to the side and opens the bag. He looks at the burger for a moment.
The Boy throws the burger out.
CUT TO:
INT. MANSION - NIGHT
The Boy walks through the house; locking all the doors and turning off all the lights. It's always a weird feeling to walk around the house at night because most of the walls are glass, so people can see right inside, especially when it's dark. It's pretty hard to even get to the house, it's the highest home on the hill and there's a long winding road before . But at the same time, if someone got up there, it'd be easy to figure out how to get in.
All the lights are off now.
The Boy walks over to The Buddha in the middle of the foyer. He sits on the floor next to him with his knees to his chest. Looking out the front door into half the darkness and half his reflection. He used to be terrified of this Buddha. When he was little, he'd run behind the statue like it would jump on him as soon as he past. But He slowly became something like a best friend. Something like that. 
INT. THE BOY'S ROOM - NIGHT
The Boy pours Pelligrino into a wine glass. Then he continues to twist his metal weed grinder in his hand. He takes the top off the grinder and pours the white powder inside the glass. He drinks it, then sits on the foot of the bed and takes off his white T-shirt.
Pulling the covers over his body, he looks at the spider in the corner...only it was gone. Where'd it go? Why would it leave? What about its parents? Won't they be sad? What a bout hi s frien ds? W hat ab o u   t all his s t uf f h o w  wa s h  esu p p ose d to ke e  p     all h is s ... .    . . . .....  .  .       .       .       
54
player
55
*******[PLAY SONG "FLIGHT OF THE NAVIGATOR" AT THIS POINT]*******
INT. HOSPITAL - DAY
The Boy wakes up. He's in a gown. His eyes feel heavy. The TV is on in his room. "Golden Girls" to be specific. One of the ladies just said something funny cause there's a lot of laughter.
Sitcom laughs always freaked him out. Because most of those people are dead. Those are ghost laughs. Laughs that are supposed to be gone forever linger on earth after every mid 90s joke about teenage sex or someone saying "don't go there". Looking for their mouths, never finding them because they're gone. The laughs don't feel good because they're dead laughs. Those laughs aren't what they stood for anymore. They've been reappropriated. Now they're just sounds monkey descendants make when amused to cue other monkey descendants when to make the sounds at home.

...my eyes feel heavy.

56
A nurse comes in. 
WHITE GUY NURSE
Hello Mr.[EDIT]. How are you feeling?
THe BOY
Like I'm about to get talked to by someone about-
(gestures)
All this.
Nurse gives a "yep" look.
WHITE GUY NURSE
You're friends brought you in-
THE BOY
They're not my friends.
WHITE GUY NURSE
I don't think they'd like you saying that.
THE BOY
Doesn't matter. It's the truth. But also, they know. We're not friends. There's a mutual benefit to our relationship, but I can't trust them for shit. 
WHITE GUY NURSE
Then why save you?
THE BOY
Cause their lives are far easier with me around. It's survival.
WHITE GUY NURSE
I think you should talk to someone.
THE BOY
We're talking.
WHITE GUY NURSE
A professional. 
THE BOY
Why? You don't care. You're not gonna make sure I do.
(then)
Our lives aren't precious, man.
Silence. The Nurse begins to clean up.
WHITE GUY NURSE
You done?
57
THE BOY
I was trying to be.
WHITE GUY NURSE
No you weren't. Cause, guess what? It's not hard to do.
Nurse leaves.
INT. WAITING ROOM - LATER THAT DAY
The Boy walks out of the double doors. Steve, Swank, and Fam are sitting there. They look up wearily. 
THE BOY
I don't wanna talk. Let's just go be awkward and quiet together at Chipotle. Alright?
They all just stare. Swank gets up slowly and walks over.
SWANK
Man...we didn't know if we should wait or tell you later, man.
The Boy makes a ["WHAT?" EMOJI] face.
SWANK (CONT'D)
Man...your pops died, man. Got the call.
Silence.
THE BOY
Okay. 
(hum of a jet engine...)
CUT TO:
*******[PLAY SONG "ZEALOTS OF STOCKHOLM" AT THIS POINT]*******
INT. JET PLANE - EVENING
The Boy lays his head against the plane window, the oil from his hair leaving grease smudges all over the window.
58
His father died in Stockholm. A family member was needed. Didn't realize that they were each other's only family til this very moment. When you lose that, you basically lose most of your memories, at least the accuracy of your own memories. 
He wanted to be cremated.  
The Boy didn't really know anyone in Stockholm, but he also didn't want to be in his hotel room with his father for a day. Even if he was just ashes. So he decided to search through his followers for someone from Sweden.  
Some girl named "Hello_Pity_" Dm'd him back and they were supposed to meet up after all the whatever he had to do. Her profile bio said she was half french. She looked pretty in her avi: an inverted Hello Kitty. But that really doesn't mean anything at all, especially since her instagram was blocked, which is something he's learned not to trust at all.
So he looked through her tweets, figured out a night she went to a club, used one of his dummy profiles and pretended that they'd met at the club that night. She had trouble remembering because, according to her feed, she was "fuckin turnt, [CRAZY TONGUE OUT EMOJI] lol". She added this made up dude as a friend on Facebook. Now The Boy could see her pictures. 
The rest of her pictures confirmed she was indeed pretty. 
This girl loves Justin Bieber though. New Justin Bieber. The "fuck you" Bieber. She loves Justin Bieber in the way you love that girl on Maury who's like "my favorite flavor popsicle is DICK!", which is close to sincere love, but nowhere near it at the same time.
INT. STRANGE OFFICE - NIGHT
The Boy is sitting at a desk, across from a solemn man. An urn sits on the left side of the desk.
The man slides it over to The Boy.
SOLEMN MAN
I'm sorry for your loss.
Silence. Don't you have to ask someone before you cremate their father? I don't know how these things work.
SOLEMN MAN (CONT'D)
These were found with him.
He gives The Boy a large brown paper bag.
59
INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
The Boy vapes on the foot of his bed. He's DMing back and forth with "Hello_Pity_" whose real name is Alyssa. 

thegoldmolar: where u at
Hello_Pity_: bar called box. meet u here?
thegoldmolar: yeah.
Hello_Pity_: u should meet my boyfriend. he loves you.

Weird.

thegoldmolar: sure.
Hello_Pity_: [CRYING LAUGH EMOJI] LOL. Don't worry. It's not like that.
thegoldmolar: wdym
Hello_Pity_: [CRAZY TONGUE OUT EMOJI] see u soon

He puts his phone down.
EXT. STOCKHOLM STREETS - NIGHT
There's a buzz going on. Very pretty people walk hand in hand on the street. There are people saying things, giving opinions, feeling interesting. Everyone has a purpose tonight. It's a great time.
A couple walk by:

SUPER HANDSOME GUY
Swedish blah blah blah roscoe's wetsuit hahahaha!
SUPER PRETTY GIRL
blah blah, swedish blah blah roscoe's wetsuit! 

60
The Boy walks up to a pink, glowing, but very discreet sign that says "box". There's a big bald guy standing outside with no hat. There's steam coming off his head.
A girl is standing outside smoking, at least trying to. She can't seem to get the cigarette lit. It's Alyssa.
THE BOY
Hey.
ALYSSA
Ah! It's you.
She gives him a kiss on both cheeks.
ALYSSA (CONT'D)
Fancy meeting you like this, huh?
THE BOY
I don't know what you mean.
She puts out her cigarette. After two big puffs.
ALYSSA
Let's go.
THE BOY
Didn't you want me to meet your boyfriend?
ALYSSA
Who? That guy?
She points to a corner of the building, a few steps from the front. A guy with long blonde hair (her boyfriend?)is making out with a girl in the cold.
THE BOY
What am I getting into?
ALYSSA
Nothing. You're getting into nothing.
CUT TO:
EXT. STOCKHOLM STREETS - CONTINUOUS
The Boy and Alyssa walk slowly through the streets. It's very cold, so they're the only ones doing that.
ALYSSA
What made you DM me?
THE BOY
I don't know anyone here.
61
ALYSSA
Then why are you here?
THE BOY
My dad died. I have to pick him up.
ALYSSA
R O U G H. How?
THE BOY
Doesn't matter at this point.
ALYSSA
I know right? It's always "how'd he die?" Like if you know all the ways, you'll avoid it. Silly.
She shivers.
ALYSSA (CONT'D)
I don't believe in small talk. What's the longest relationship you've been in?
THE BOY
Five years.
ALYSSA
Wow. What happened?
THE BOY
I'm still in it.
ALYSSA
Oh?
THE BOY
She does private web shows. We're not together. But it's a relationship, for sure.
ALYSSA
I don't get it.
THE BOY
I used to watch her online a while back. Then she quit and started doing private shows. Then it just started turning into talking. Mostly.
ALYSSA
Wooooaah.
THE BOY
Wha?
ALYSSA
You're paying her to be your girlfriend or friend or whatever.
62
THE BOY
Yes. But most people are paying for friends one way or another.
ALYSSA
No. 
THE BOY
Your boyfriend is making out with another girl right now. You don't really have room to judge.
ALYSSA
I trust that I can never trust him. We're clear on that.
THE BOY
Then why have him at all?
ALYSSA
Because he's honest. And I like that. He doesn't lie to either of us. That's special to me.
INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
The two are sitting on the bed staring at the urn on the table. 
63
ALYSSA
So that's your dad.
THE BOY
That's my dad. That's what's left of him.
ALYSSA
You guys close?
THE BOY
No.
ALYSSA
You wanna talk about it.
THE BOY
No.
Silence.
THE BOY (CONT'D)
I'm going to make a drink.
ALYSSA
Alright.
The Boy gets up and goes into the living room. While he's in there, Alyssa gets up, takes the urn, and walks out of the room. The Boy hears the door slam.
THE BOY
Alyssa?

CUT TO:

*******[PLAY SONG "URN" AT THIS POINT]*******
EXT. HOTEL - NIGHT
The Boy runs out of the front doors. His breath, clouding in the night. He looks both ways and catches Alyssa turning a corner. He runs to the corner and meets her on the other side.
THE BOY
What's going on.
64
ALYSSA
Let's get rid of it. It's just bad for you.
THE BOY
You have a TON of nerve judging me and my father's relationship, so much so, you just walk out with his ashes? I feel like what you're doing is against the law, but much like the fact he was cremated before I arrived, I don't know if it's illegal. I'm still pissed though.
ALYSSA
We're gonna do this together.
The Boy is pissed. He's trying not to blow up.
ALYSSA (CONT'D)
I had a sister. I did this when she died.
THE BOY
Yes. That gives you the right.
Alyssa digs in her pocket and pulls out her phone. She turns it on and the background is Alyssa and a girl that looks exactly like her. The Boy takes the phone.
THE BOY (CONT'D)
Twins.
ALYSSA
Yes.
THE BOY
I know we agreed that it's dumb to ask since we're all headed that way anyway, but-
ALYSSA
Brain cancer. It was bad.
Silence.
ALYSSA (CONT'D)
So crazy.
She LOLs. They're still walking this entire time. They stop at the water. They stand there making small clouds for a moment.
ALYSSA (CONT'D)
You want to say something?
The Boy shrugs.
ALYSSA (CONT'D)
Alright-
65
THE BOY
Wait.
The urn almost tips over the edge. She waits for him. He walks over and takes the urn and just holds it for a moment. Then he kinda hugs it. Laying his head on it, but turning his head so she can't see what he says:
THE BOY (CONT'D)
(whisper)
I'm sorry we're alone.
He pours out the ashes. He's gone.
ALYSSA
How do you feel? Better?
THE BOY
I feel...the same.
VOICE
HEY!
Alyssa and The Boy turn around. It's Alyssa's boyfriend.
66
BOYFRIEND
What the fuck, bro?
ALYSSA
Oh, so you now you give a fuck.
She pushes him back as he takes swipes at The Boy. The Boy is mildly annoyed. They're all yelling at each other.
BOYFRIEND/THE BOY/ALYSSA
You're dead ass-hole!/ Relax, nothing happened/ Would you stop!
The boyfriend breaks free from her.
BOYFRIEND
Do you know who the fuck I am?

ALYSSA
Please don't. Please don't do this.
THE BOY
Nah, man. I don't know who you are.
BOYFRIEND (CONT'D)
(scream)
WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY!
(silence)
I. Wrote. That. That's my shit. I'm the nigga dressed like a fox. That's all me.
THE BOY
What?
The boyfriend starts making the noises a fox makes in the song.
BOYFRIEND
That!
ALYSSA
(resigned, to The Boy)
Like the song and video.
THE BOY
I've never heard of it.
ALYSSA and BOYFIREND
What/wha?
ALYSSA
I thought you "were the internet"?
67
THE BOY
That's a tagline. No one is the actual internet. I just must've missed it when it was popular.
BOYFRIEND
Uh, by "when it was popular" do you mean, uhhh, RIGHT THE FUCK NOW?!
THE BOY
Relax.
BOYFRIEND
Two hundred and twenty million views on Youtube. Two hundred and twenty million. That's most of the earth.
THE BOY
Not true. 
BOYFRIEND
An African village wrote to me-
THE BOY
The whole village did?
BOYFRIEND
-and told me that my song taught them about foxes. They don't have foxes there. I introduced the idea of a fox to an entire continent...
(then)
And you wanna fuck my girl?
Silence.
THE BOY
I do not wanna fuck your girl. I don't want to be here. I am going home now.
The Boy walks away. Alyssa and her boyfriend start a boring argument in the cold as he disappears. 
CUT TO:
INT. LA VEGAN RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Fam, another girl, and The Boy sit in a booth at the restaurant. Fam and the girl are talking. The Boy is silent. Don't know if he's just bored or jet lagged from Sweden. Either way he's bumming everyone out.
ANOTHER GIRL
My friend should be here soon.
The Boy doesn't say anything. Fam and the girl look on.
68
A girl walks up to the table. The Boy looks up. It's the girl from the party.
NAOMI
Hi.
The Boy doesn't say anything. 
ANOTHER GIRL
This is Naomi.
(then)
Hello?
FAM
He's dumb. You should just sit and ignore him.
She sits down.
NAOMI
You're the guy that almost hit my arm.
THE BOY
Yes. 
NAOMI
You guys order?
THE BOY
No. I hate vegan. I think she's making us eat here.
NAOMI
I'm the vegan. I asked to eat here.
Silence.
THE BOY
I hate vegan.
NAOMI
(saying it dumb)
Duhh, "I hate vegan".
In his head, he was lol-ing. In real life, he just kinda looked down.
NAOMI (CONT'D)
What's the deal. Why you always act like your parents died.
The Boy smirks.
THE BOY
They did.
69
Awkward. Silence.
ANOTHER GIRL
I'm so sorry.
Fam and The Boy stare at each other for a moment. Then laugh. Another Girl and Naomi do not.
FAM
(to The Boy)
Your parents are dead, man. 
THE BOY
My parents are dead yo.
They slowly stop laughing. Naomi thinks The Boy is weird. But she doesn't run.
INT. MANSION - NIGHT
Fam and Another Girl are sitting on the swings smoking and talking about something they will never remember and don't really care about.
Naomi and The Boy sit in the living room.
NAOMI
What did he do?
THE BOY
I don't know.
NAOMI
How'd he afford all this?
THE BOY
I don't know.
NAOMI
Then how can you afford all this? He leave you a lot?
THE BOY
Creditors were after him. I don't know if he had anything left. I'm not concerned. 
(serious)
I'm gonna sell drugs.
Naomi LMAOs.
NAOMI
Whaaaaaat.
70
THE BOY
Fam can hook me up. I've been watching him for a minute. He runs out of here already.
NAOMI
I don't think you need me to tell you you're an awful dealer.
THE BOY
How would you even know?
NAOMI
You make everything feel awkward. You can't connect with anyone. How is anyone supposed to feel like they can trust you?
THE BOY
Yeah, that's what drug dealers are known for. Their comfort.
NAOMI
They are, dumb-ass. You gotta know how people work. You're only good with people online.
He slowly turns to her. "how does she know that?"
NAOMI (CONT'D)
I looked you up.
THE BOY
After the party or just now.
NAOMI
Just now. I'm a writer too.
THE BOY
Oh really.
NAOMI
Yup. And I know I'm good cause people keep stealing my shit.
She hits the vape.
NAOMI (CONT'D)
I tweeted this.
(holds up her phone)
Is that not my poem verbatim? I posted them together. This nigga just rapped this like it was his.
THE BOY
(looking at her phone)
Your first mistake is being a poet past the year 1974, by the way.
71
NAOMI
That's how good my shit is. I'm bringing the whole form back.
THE BOY
You're cocky when you're high.
NAOMI
No. I'm talkative when I'm high. I'm cocky all the time, but I'm silent for most of it...like you.
He looks up. She lifts an eyebrow. He doesn't smile. She goes cross-eyed. No response. She stops, then sighs.
NAOMI (CONT'D)
You ever think we're in hell? This is all hell. Living on earth and being the only ones aware that it's all ending slowly.
Silence.
THE BOY
No.
NAOMI
I read something that said more than likely we all just do this all again. It's all a cycle.
THE BOY
I like that theory.
NAOMI
Yeah.
(then)
See? You're not such a lonely boy. 
She LOLs and mushes his face with her hand. The Boy smh, but smiles.



72
*******[PLAY SONG "PINK TOES" AT THIS POINT]*******
This is the part where they kinda fall in love a little bit. But I feel like anything we put here wouldn't do justice to what really happens when a person you meet ends up in your life out of nowhere. But know that it's exactly how you expect it to be, but also more. It's a big inside joke that you can't mess up and only one other person in the world gets.
It's not a very pretty or perfect love, or even necessarily a romantic love. It doesn't look cool.  It's more like two helpless things in the wild, and one says "I'll protect you", and both parties know it's a lie because there's no way either of them can protect the other from anything. That lie is the best way to describe this love. That feeling of not having to say "I'm scared", because you share the exact feelings without having words over or under complicate it, that's worth more than protection. It's a connection. The less alone. This is all we look for on earth.  
The Boy and Naomi hang a lot. They spend the night and make breakfast sometimes. He buys stuff for her. She makes him stuff. They watch cartoons together. They're always saying things, giving opinions, feeling interesting. They both have a purpose. It's a great time. Time passes.
73
The Boy starts moving small amounts of weed out the mansion, but starts selling more to keep up, along with stuff that isn't weed. He started growing crop in the nursery. The electricity bill would be high, but he stopped living in the mansion. He started renting another place to stay and keep the business separate.  
To be honest it was getting a little out of hand, as Naomi predicted. The Boy is not a good dealer. A lot of people think you have to be cold and calculated, which he was to an extent. But you also have to know people. How they act/react. But it was still kinda fun up to this point.
Then:
INT. RENTAL HOME - DAY
The Boy is washing dishes as Naomi stands next to him. They just had lunch.
NAOMI
Howbout'sm China, IL? 
THE BOY
Can't.
NAOMI
Can't why?
THE BOY
I got a run to do.
NAOMI
Oh.
Silence.
NAOMI (CONT'D)
I thought you were having other guys do that now.
THE BOY
I am. Fam can't do this one.
NAOMI
If you're putting up the money you shouldn't be making the run.
THE BOY
I don't really trust anyone else to do it.
NAOMI
You don't really trust anyone.
THE BOY
I trust you.
74
NAOMI
You shouldn't.
The Boy stops. She got em.
THE BOY
You're right.
NAOMI
I don't want to be right. I wanna help you.
THE BOY
(said dumb)
"I don't wanna be right"
She doesn't laugh. He hopes she's LOLing inside. Cellphone vibrates on the counter across from them. The Boy goes over and reads the text.
THE BOY (CONT'D)
I gotta go.
NAOMI
Alright.
THE BOY
You okay?
NAOMI
I'm fine.
THE BOY
Is that a fake "I'm fine".
NAOMI
No. It's what "I'm fine" always means.
Nothing real is ever "fine". Remember this.
THE BOY
I'll be back.
He walks out. They don't see each other anymore.
EXT. I-10 - DAY
The Boy is driving down the highway listening to "Danny Glover" by Young Thug.
75
EXT. MANSION - DAY
The car parks in the driveway. There are three cars already there. When he pulls up, he's playing "Made in America" by JAY Z and Kanye. When it goes off, he continues singing his version while walking up.
THE BOY
Sweet Cream Havarti/ Sweet Mozzarella/ Sweet Cheez-its. They're made in America/ Sweet Bowl of Cheez-its/ Ohhhhh-oohhhhh- 
Four dudes are standing waiting at the front door.
Something is wrong.
The Boy stops singing and stands there in front of the dudes. They look at him. Alone.
They all pull out 45s.

*******[PLAY SONG "EARTH: THE OLDEST COMPUTER" AT THIS POINT]*******
INT. MANSION - DAY
They all walk in.
DUDE 1
Where the packs?
THE BOY
In that closet.
DUDE 1
Sit over there.
76
The Boy sits in the living room. Maybe he could run out the back? Where though? They're at the top of a mountain. If someone heard a shot in this neighborhood, they'd call the police immediately. Unfortunately, there isn't a police department in the Palisades. He'd be waiting for the Santa Monica department, which would take a minute. 
The feeling The Boy had now was shockingly similar to the feeling he got at his own parties. People he didn't know or like casually walking through his home and him having to pretend everything is "fine", or that they don't have all the power.
Maybe he could text Fam.
DUDE 1 (CONT'D)
Give me your phone.
The Boy hands him his phone. Fuck.
Two dudes stand guard at the front and back exits. One dude packs the bricks from the closet in a trash bag. Dude 1 (seems to be the leader) is looking through The Boy's phone.  
77
It didn't feel like the day The Boy was going to die. Not to say The Boy didn't feel like he was going to die, he was certain he was going to die today. But he didn't feel like today felt like a/the last day/night. Like a Wednesday that keeps feeling like a Friday. But the more he thought about it, if the last day felt like the last day, the world would be a different place. The order we have everyday would vanish if you were guaranteed a warning. People wouldn't live like they do. They wouldn't care what you thought. It'd be anarchy. Or a utopia. Depending on who you ask.
Dude 1 puts The Boy's phone in his pocket. The Boy doesn't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Dude 1 and Dude 2 start talking. It's obvious they're discussing The Boy's fate.
If I was the director, the one who made this moment, the one who saw this moment millennia before, the one who coded this world and allowed this to happen, I'd have Thundercat's "We'll Die" playing as The Boy looks around at his once castle.

...try to do your best.

Oh! It's like Tony Montana. But resigned and, frankly, more realistic, cause it's boring. Everybody dies. Most of them are boring.
All the dudes walk out except Dude 2. He stays. Dude 1 still has his phone as he walks out. The Boy realizes this action is bad.
DUDE 2
Toss me your wallet.
This is bad. The Boy tosses the wallet. Dude 2 looks through it.
THE BOY
Can I drown?
Dude 2 looks up.
THE BOY (CONT'D)
I just want to die how I want.
There's a pool out there. You're supposed to get this wave of euphoria when you drown. Supposed to be good.
Dude 2 stares.
THE BOY (CONT'D)
I could just float there. They'd find me. 
Dude 2 starts to walks over...
(Does it change anything when you're aware of your last thoughts?)
78
Dude 2 sits next to him.
DUDE 2
We've been watching you for a while. You're very sloppy.
He's a cop. This nigga's a cop.
DUDE 2 (CONT'D)
I'm just gonna stay here with you for a minute. My guys are picking up those guys up the street.
THE BOY
Oh.
Silence.
THE BOY (CONT'D)
I'm going to jail?
DUDE 2
Yep.
The Boy looks to the pool in the backyard and sees his own body floating lifeless.  
79
Eyes wide, bubbles clinging to his face. Orange, yellow, and brown leaves float above him. His left shoe floating far ahead, probably from struggling at some point. Next to the pool, Naomi and Steve stand over him. Neither is crying or really seem too upset.  They just look on as if the movie they were watching took an abrupt turn and they're mildly interested rather than satisfied. 
It looks peaceful. Fitting. He'd like to go out like that.


...what's that sound?


Tires SCREECH outside. Dude 2 stands up. There's a small crash outside. Yelling.  
VOICE
FREEZE!
GUNSHOTS. 

The Boy and Dude 2 look at each other.
Dude 1 kicks open the door. He starts firing. Dude 2 falls. A mist of red puff spurts from his chest. He's screaming.
Dude 1 turns to The Boy and sho




...(breath).....(breath).............(breath).. . .     .    





Silence.
80
*******[PLAY SONG "LIFE: THE BIGGEST TROLL" AT THIS POINT]*******
81
82
THE END

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